Think you’re tired? This man didn’t sleep for 40 days.

Who needs sleep?  Well, you’re never going to get it
Who needs sleep? Well, you’re never going to get it
Who needs sleep? You should be happy with what you get
There’s a guy who’s been awake since the second World War
– Barenaked Ladies, “Who Needs Sleep”

Photographer Tyler Shields had trouble sleeping.  More so than you, buddy.  He recently claimed to set a world record by going without sex sleep for 40 days and nights.  Guiness won’t confirm it because it’s a) difficult to prove/disprove and b) dangerous to try.

Side effects of no sleep for 968 hours?  Fevers, headaches, vision trouble and even temporary paralysis of his legs.  He continued to work as a photographer and people around him said he acted like he was hung over.

The biggest benefit of this sleep-deprivation marathon is that “No one will be like, ‘I’m exhausted,’ they just can’t say that to me anymore,” he told AOL News.

The only other benefit is that this 28-year old photog can get a little attention – Shields previously did a stunt where he shot a man with a gun to promote a gallery opening.  Stupid.

In other words, don’t try and do this at home unless you’re desperate to get in the news.  And even then, there are less ridiculous things you can do for attention.

Flirting while driving has caused nearly 1 million crashes

Distracted while driving?  30 U.S. states have banned texting while driving, and AAA has previously said they’d like to see all 50 states ban it by 2013.  As smartphones become more common, the law will likely expand to ban all cell phone use behind the wheel.

But what about flirting?

A British study found 976,000 motorists have been in accidents because the driver was flirting.  With other drivers on the road.  (Sounds like a Chevy Chase scene from National Lampoon’s Vacation, doesn’t it?)

Male drivers are the worst – 83% of those accidents were caused by men flirting instead of keeping their eyes on the road.  I can’t imagine why – surely, men should know by now that women do not swoon for “hey baby!” shouts or obnoxious horn honks.  Nevertheless, 46% of men admit to flirting behind the wheel and 36% of women do it, too.

According to the study, another 5 million people had close calls due to wandering eyes.  That’s 1 in 7 people who have almost gotten into an accident because they were checking out other drivers.

Distracted while driving?  Maybe we should all have tinted windows so we can’t look in.  And no rolling down the windows to flash the passerbys, either, or else this will happen:

Ouch.

Happy Coffins – have a funeral with a smile!

Image courtesy of AOL News

'Happy Coffins,' introduced last week by the Lien Foundation, are intended to help take the fear out of death.

Death is a funny thing.

I’m sure when the first person said “Hey, maybe we should give them a pillow” there was a similar reaction to this: Happy Coffins.

Debuted last week in Singapore by the Lien Foundation, Happy Coffins are designed to make funerals less grim.   These decorated coffins include designs such as jeans, wine bottles, and even quirky expressions like “Hello, coffin, you seem to be nice.”

They even have a website where you can choose your Last Playlist – a soundtrack for your own funeral.  (If that’s not weird enough, there’s a different website, AndVinyly.com, that lets you get your ashes pressed into your favorite vinyl record.)

According to AOL News, the Happy Coffins currently available are 12 winners of a design contest with over 700 entries from 33 countries around the world.

Lee and Sister Geraldine Tan came up with the idea, and first tried the idea out on residents of a senior home in Singapore – of the 10 they asked, only five liked the idea.  Of those five, three helped design their own casket and even took turns posing for pictures with it.

Some say it’s distasteful to try and do this to death: “I’m sure people have differing views about the desirability of Happy Coffins,” said Lee Tan.  But don’t forget, we once though it was inappropriate to walk down the aisle to anything other than “Here Comes The Bride” and now everyone seems to want to dance to Chris Brown’s “Forever.”

What do you think?  When you bite the big one, do you want to lighten the ceremony for the grieving friends and family with a Happy Coffin?

Is 45 too old for trick-or-treating?

Some Halloween costumes I've worn over the years: Deaf Chef, Michael Phelps, Baby Spice, Flava Flav.

The last time I went trick-or-treating, I was probably 13 or 14. I’ve worn costumes many times since then (most of which had nothing to do with Halloween).

However, the debate comes up every October – how old is too old for trick-or-treating? A Dallas mom has a rule that if you’re too old for a Chuck-E-Cheese party, you’re too old.  Another blogger says, as long as they still get in the spirit and dress up, teenagers are okay to trick-or-treat.  This one says if they have their drivers’ license, they should be doing something else for Halloween.

One Illinois town even banned all kids above 8th grade from trick-or-treating.  Parents who allowed their kids to go from door-to-door asking for candy would be fined $25.

Meet Stan, the 45-year old attorney from Wichita who still goes out every year:

This is what Stan wrote about his October 31st compulsion:

I have a sweet tooth the size of Alaska. That’s why when Halloween rolls around at the end of October, I’ll break out the old shopping bags and go begging.

Some people may say I suffer from a case of arrested development, but where on the law books is there a statute of limitations on trick-or-treating? I should know–I’m a lawyer.

At 45, it’s not easy to look like a kid. I’m five-ten and two-hundred plus pounds.

But I’m nothing if not ingenious. Last year I taped wrapping paper and ribbon around some cardboard boxes and went as a stack of Christmas presents. All you could see of me was my baby blues through the eye holes.

I keep an up-to-date computer database on the best and worst neighborhoods for candy. It’s based on a somewhat complex program that considers the number of lit and unlit porch lights, size of pumpkins, types of treats, etc.

As far as getting caught, the closest I ever came was three years ago at my parents’ house.

But the best part of Halloween for me is the rest of the year. I can’t tell you how satisfying it is to offer clients a Starburst from the Wedgwood jar on my desk, then pop one into my own mouth. And only I know my Halloween secret.

Is it fake?  Could be.  Nevertheless, I’m curious as to what you think.  How old is too old?

Note: You’re never too old to wear a costume and act ridiculous for a day/night at work or a party.  Are you looking for couples costume ideas, by the way?

I have a cookie fairy.

I went to my office and there was a plate of cookies on my desk in a plastic bag with “DeafGeoff” written on it.  No joke.   No card, no note, no idea where it came from.

The question is… should I eat them?

They DO look good.  Chocolate chip, mmm…

But mom always said I shouldn’t eat anything from strangers, and I really have no idea where these came from.  I mean, I certainly don’t think I’d open a strangely wrapped package with no return address either:

“Who’s going to bomb you?  An airline?  For all the stupid little peanut jokes?”
“Oh, I suppose you think
you’re bombable.”
“There’s a couple people who wouldn’t mind having me out of the way.”
“There’s more than a couple.”