I went to my office and there was a plate of cookies on my desk in a plastic bag with “DeafGeoff” written on it. No joke. No card, no note, no idea where it came from.
The question is… should I eat them?
They DO look good. Chocolate chip, mmm…
But mom always said I shouldn’t eat anything from strangers, and I really have no idea where these came from. I mean, I certainly don’t think I’d open a strangely wrapped package with no return address either:
“Who’s going to bomb you? An airline? For all the stupid little peanut jokes?”
“Oh, I suppose you think you’re bombable.”
“There’s a couple people who wouldn’t mind having me out of the way.”
“There’s more than a couple.”
The 911 emergency phone number is just that – for emergencies. But with the advent of the internet, it’s so easy to spread just how dumb people are and brand them for life as “the McEmergency lady” when you hear about them calling 911 three times to complain that McDonald’s ran out of Chicken McNuggets. And believe it or not, she barely even makes the top five. Here’s the rest of the Top 10 Funniest 911 Calls (from Manofest.com):
10. Man calls 911 after having an erection for four days straight
9. Redneck hits a deer with his car
8. Burger King is out of Lemonade
7. Mom doesn’t like her disrespectful son (and calls him not-so-nice NSFW names)
6. Kid calls 911 for help on a math problem
5. 911 dispatcher makes a horribly inappropriate joke (“OK, did you want us to come over and shoot her?”)
4. McDonald’s is out of Chicken McNuggets (she got arrested after calling 911 three times)
3. DWI suspect calls 911 as train hits Ferrari he left on tracks (this happened last week!)
2. Fat woman upset that Burger King got her order wrong
1. The funniest 911 call ever:
I love how the reporter can’t keep a straight face after airing the call. Who could? Afroman?
For the first day of summer 2007, I celebrated by putting on a pair of Speedos and went around Central New York jumping in people’s pools for a radio stunt. It was horrifying. There’s a video.